We all pick up beliefs, opinions, and lessons along the way. Some come from our upbringing, some from personal experiences, some from church, and others from people we admire.

The problem is that not every lesson we learn is meant to stay with us forever. Sometimes the things that once helped us become the very things that keep us stuck.

There was a season in my life when I felt stagnant. And I don’t mean in just one area. I mean almost everywhere. My career, business ideas, my walk with God, my relationships, my personal growth. Everything felt stuck.

At the end of one particular year, I sat down to reflect and realized I had simply passed through the year. No major progress. No significant impact. No meaningful growth. Just vibes and survival.

Trust me, it is a terrible place to be. The frustration that comes with that kind of stagnation can make people lose hope. Some give up on their dreams. Others settle. And some begin to believe that maybe life simply has nothing more to offer them.

Thankfully, God’s grace did not leave me there. And through a lot of reflection, prayer, and honest conversations with myself, I realized that there were things I needed to unlearn before I could move forward.

In this article, I’ll share three of them.

1. COMFORT ZONES ARE YOUR FINAL DESTINATION

When I was 18 years old, I attended a marriage seminar.

Yes, I know. You’re probably wondering: “What exactly was an 18-year-old doing at a marriage seminar?” 😄 That’s a story for another day.

The guest speaker said something that stayed with me for years. He said that when choosing a life partner, we should wait until we have the peace of God in our hearts before making such an important decision.

Excellent advice. Powerful advice. Godly advice.

The problem was not what he said. The problem was what I did with it.

I took that advice and applied it everywhere. Not just in relationships. In my career. In business. In opportunities. In almost every major decision. If something felt uncomfortable, I avoided it. If there was uncertainty, I retreated. If there was risk, I convinced myself it wasn’t God’s will because I didn’t “feel peace.”

Then eventually, reality introduced itself. 😄

I realized something. When it comes to career growth, business, and purpose, comfort can become a dangerous place. Not because comfort is evil. But because comfort rarely challenges you. It rarely stretches you. And it certainly doesn’t force growth.

No successful entrepreneur, executive, or industry leader got there by remaining permanently comfortable. Success often requires:

- Learning new skills

- Taking risks

- Investing money

- Sacrificing time

- Losing some sleep

In some seasons, peace comes after the step of faith, not before. If you want growth, sometimes you must leave the safety net.

The comfort zone is a wonderful place. But very little grows there.

2. WHEN YOU PRAY, EVERYTHING WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE ALRIGHT

Ah. This one is delicate. 😄

Before somebody screenshots this section and reports me to my Pastor, please read to the end.

I love prayer. Anybody who knows me knows that. In fact, if I had my way, my relationship with God would be even deeper than it currently is.

But one thing I had to unlearn was this mindset: “Just pray, and everything will magically sort itself out.”

This belief has frustrated many Christians. They have prayed and prayed and prayed. Yet they still don’t see results. And because of that, they become discouraged. Some even begin to question prayer itself.

What I have learned is that prayer is often the beginning of the process, not the end. Prayer is conversation with God, and conversation goes both ways. Many of us go to God with our list of problems, then immediately leave. We never stay long enough to receive strategy.

One thing I’ve noticed in Scripture is this: whenever God answered people, He often gave them a plan, a strategy, an instruction, something to do.

Take King Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20. A vast army was coming against him. Naturally, he prayed, and what did God do? He gave him a strategy. Now, let’s be honest. If God gave that strategy to most of us today, we would ask for a second opinion. 😄 Imagine being told: “Put singers in front of the army and start praising.” But that instruction became part of their victory.

Another example is Jesus turning water into wine. Mary presented the problem. Jesus responded with an instruction:

> “Fill the jars with water.”

A plan. A strategy. An action.

So now, when I pray, I don’t just present requests. I also wait. For direction. For wisdom. For strategy. For insight.

Don’t just pray and sleep. Pray and plan. Pray and listen. Pray and move when God gives instruction.

3. WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE DOING WELL, IT MEANS YOU HAVE FAILED

Oh, this one has caused serious damage. Both in people’s lives and in friendships.

Let’s imagine four friends who graduate from university together. They all complete national service. Three of them join large multinational companies. One gets a job at Atwima Kwawuma Rural Bank. 😄

Immediately, the fourth friend starts feeling like a failure.

Why? Because comparison has entered the chat.

But who said the others are automatically doing better? Because they’re earning more money? Because their offices have air conditioning? Because they work in Accra while you’re somewhere else?

One lesson I had to unlearn is this: someone else’s progress is not proof of your failure.

Read that again, and again, and again.

Different people are running different races. On different timelines. Toward different destinations. Some people are earning more. Others have more peace. Some are progressing quickly. Others are building slowly but sustainably.

The mistake is using somebody else’s journey as the measuring tape for your own life.

Comparison steals joy. Comparison creates unnecessary pressure. And comparison often makes us blind to the blessings in our own lives.

I am incredibly grateful that I unlearned this. Because the moment I did, I became much happier. And my relationships improved too. Funny how that works. 😄

TO BE CONTINUED...

At this point, I think I have talked too much. But then again, my readers already know that talking too much is one of my spiritual gifts. 😄

So instead of squeezing everything into one article, I’ve decided to continue in Part 2. I originally planned to share five things. I’ve covered three here. But because I am feeling generous, I will add a couple more lessons in Part 2. Please clap for me. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Growth is not always about learning something new. Sometimes it is about letting go of beliefs, habits, and mindsets that no longer serve us. Sometimes the next level of your life is waiting on the other side of something you need to unlearn.

And trust me... that journey is worth it.

Watch out for Part 2. 😊

Which of these three have you had to unlearn? Tell me in the comments. 👇

Most of us grew up hearing one important lesson: “Take everything to God in prayer.”

And rightly so. It is one of the greatest habits a Christian can develop.

But somewhere along the way, many of us unknowingly became more focused on what God could do for us than on who He is to us. Without realizing it, our relationship with God became transactional.

Think about it. When we first learned that God is Jehovah Jireh, our Provider, everything seemed exciting. We prayed for things and somehow, many of those prayers appeared to be answered quickly. You needed something. You prayed. Boom. It happened. Simple.

Then you grew older. Your relationship with God became deeper. Your understanding matured. But something changed. The prayers seemed to take longer. Some weren’t answered when you expected. Others were not answered at all.

And if we’re being honest, some of us became disappointed. So disappointed that we stopped praying with expectation. Some stopped praying altogether. Others still pray, but mostly out of routine. Just going through the motions.

Permit me to be a little “preachy preachy” in this article. 😄 I promise there is a reason.

THE FRIEND WHO ONLY CALLS WHEN THEY NEED SOMETHING

Let me ask you a question. How would you feel if you had a friend who only visited when they were hungry? Or a friend who only called when they needed money? Every call starts with: “Hello, how are you? By the way...” 😄

How many times would you be excited to see that person’s name on your phone?

Exactly.

Could it be that sometimes we treat God that way? The moment we need something, we suddenly become spiritual. Prayer warrior mode activated. Scriptures flying left and right. Fasting schedule released. 😄 Then the moment things improve, communication reduces significantly.

GOD WANTS RELATIONSHIP, NOT TRANSACTIONS

The truth is that God wants more than transactions. He wants relationship. He wants intimacy. He wants us to know Him personally.

Not just as the One who blesses us. Not just as the One who solves our problems. But as our Father. Our Friend. Our Companion.

In fact, Scripture compares Christ’s relationship with the Church to that of a husband and wife. That is how much God desires closeness with us. A relationship. Not a business arrangement.

What if we spent time with God beyond our prayer requests? What if we talked to Him about our day? Thanked Him for the things we usually overlook? Asked His opinion before making decisions? Shared our joys, frustrations, fears, and dreams?

And before somebody says: “But talking to God like that sounds strange.”

No, it isn’t. That is fellowship. That is exactly what He desires.

WHAT CHANGES WHEN IT’S NO LONGER TRANSACTIONAL

Something beautiful happens when your relationship with God moves beyond transactions. You begin to trust Him differently.

When you submit a prayer request and your timeline comes and goes... you don’t panic. You trust Him.

When the answer doesn’t come immediately... you trust Him.

When His answer is different from what you wanted... you still trust Him.

Because your confidence is no longer in His gifts. It is in His character.

DAVID WALKED WITH GOD, NOT JUST TO HIM

David understood this. The Bible describes him as a man after God’s own heart. Not because David was perfect. Let’s be honest. David made some serious mistakes. Some very serious mistakes. 😄

Yet what made David different was his relationship with God. David talked to God about everything. When he was happy. When he was sad. When he was angry. When he was frustrated. When he was afraid. When he had failed. When he had sinned. He kept coming back.

That is one reason I love reading the Psalms. You can almost hear the relationship. The honesty. The vulnerability. The fellowship.

David wasn’t just talking to God. He was walking with Him.

DON’T RUN AWAY WHEN YOU FAIL

Many of us do the opposite. The moment we make a mistake, we run away from God. We hide. We feel ashamed. We avoid prayer. Avoid church. Avoid fellowship. As though God suddenly became unaware of what happened. 😄

Meanwhile, the Bible tells us:

“While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

God already knew our imperfections before He chose to love us. He has given us His Word. He has given us His Spirit. He has made Himself available. Not because He wants servants who occasionally send requests. But because He wants sons and daughters who know Him personally.

LOVE HIM BEYOND THE BLESSINGS

So love God beyond what He can give you. Pursue Him beyond the blessings. Seek Him beyond the breakthrough. Desire Him beyond the miracle.

After all, let’s be realistic. You can never outgive God. There is absolutely nothing you want for yourself that God cannot provide far beyond your imagination.

So don’t treat Him like a divine ATM. And don’t treat Him like a heavenly sugar daddy. 😄

Love Him for who He is. Know Him. Walk with Him. Fellowship with Him.

Because at the end of the day, the greatest gift God can give you is not stuff. It’s Himself.

When the blessings fade, the relationship remains. When the answered prayers are delayed, the relationship remains. When life doesn’t make sense, the relationship remains.

So build a relationship with God that can survive both abundance and silence.

Because God was never looking for users. He was always looking for relationship.

And since this article somehow turned into a sermon... 😄 it is now offering time. Hallelujah! 😂💰🙏🏾

Is your relationship with God mostly requests, or mostly fellowship? Tell me in the comments. 👇

We live in a world where attention is currency. One viral post, one breakthrough moment, one stroke of luck from the algorithm gods, and suddenly everybody knows your name. Some become your biggest supporters overnight. Others become your long-lost friends. 😄

But if we’re being honest, the need for approval didn’t start with social media. It has always been there.

Back in primary school, we wanted to be accepted by the popular kids. In high school, we secretly enjoyed it when teachers praised us in front of the class. As adults, not much has changed. We still want to be liked. We still want to be loved. We still want to be accepted. The only difference is that social media has amplified it.

Because we want to be seen as good people, many of us end up bending over backwards to help others. Sometimes to our own detriment.

WHEN KINDNESS COSTS TOO MUCH

Now don’t get me wrong. Wanting to help people is not a bad thing. In fact, I think it is one of the most beautiful traits a person can have.

The problem is when kindness starts costing you more than you can afford. That’s where wisdom comes in.

There is something you should know about human beings. We are naturally selfish. I remember learning in Economics that: “Human wants are insatiable.” At the time, it sounded like an exam definition. Now it sounds like life experience. 😄

People will praise you for your kindness. They’ll tell you how much you’ve helped them. They’ll remind you of how you “saved” them when they were in need. And before you realize it, you’ve built an identity around being the helper.

Then one day, life happens. You cannot help. And suddenly you feel guilty.

WHEN PEOPLE USE YOUR OWN KINDNESS AGAINST YOU

Have you noticed how people can manipulate you using your own kindness? They remind you of everything you’ve done for them. They tell emotional stories. They make you feel responsible for problems that are not yours to solve. And because you don’t want to disappoint them, you keep saying yes. Even when everything in you is screaming no.

No, my dear. Don’t do that to yourself.

If you let people, they will drain you completely and still find a way to blame you. Harsh? Maybe. But life has taught me that sometimes people will keep taking as long as you’re willing to keep giving.

Let’s be practical. How do you give your entire salary to a colleague who earns the same salary as you... when your own children’s school fees have not been paid? Who do you? 😄😄😄

And you did it because you felt guilty.

No. That’s not kindness. That’s poor boundary management.

MR. OTUA, MEETS BOUNDARIES

Now let me share my opinion. Actually, you’re already here, so I will share it anyway. 😄

Don’t live for the approval of others. Be kind. Be generous. Be compassionate. The Bible encourages all of these things.

But please... don’t allow your kindness to turn you into “Mr. Otua.”

SAYING NO AT WORK

Let’s enter the corporate world for a moment. Many of us take pride in being hardworking. And rightly so. Hard work pays. I believe in excellence. I believe in diligence. I believe in giving your best.

However, there is a difference between hard work and exploitation. A big difference.

If your workload keeps increasing without any form of prioritization... if impossible deadlines have become normal... if you’re constantly sacrificing your health and sanity in the name of commitment... it may be time to have a conversation.

Saying:

“I am currently at capacity.”

or

“Can we agree on priorities?”

is not rebellion. It’s wisdom.

You can say no respectfully. You can push back professionally. You can protect your well-being without being disrespectful. After all, you only have one life. And if you destroy your health while chasing a promotion, what exactly was the point?

NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR LIFE MORE THAN YOU DO

This applies to family too. And now let me say something that may sound controversial.

Apart from God, nobody cares about your life more than you do.

Read that again.

People may love you. People may support you. People may genuinely care about you. But at the end of the day, you are the one who must live with the consequences of your decisions.

The painful reality is that sometimes, no matter how much you give people, the day you cannot give anymore, they become disappointed. Some may even become angry.

And that’s okay. Let them.

Your responsibility is not to meet every expectation. Your responsibility is to live wisely.

LEARN TO SAY NO

So learn to say no.

- Say no when it affects your health.

- Say no when it destroys your peace.

- Say no when it compromises your priorities.

- Say no when it creates a burden you cannot carry.

And please remember: people will survive your no. They’re stronger than you think. 😄

Does this mean we stop helping people? Absolutely not. Be generous. Be available. Be kind. But let divine wisdom sit in the driver’s seat. Not guilt.

You do not have to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

Help when you can. Give when you’re led to. Support where possible. But never confuse kindness with self-neglect.

Because a well-timed “no” can be just as healthy, loving, and wise as a “yes.” And sometimes, protecting your peace is not selfish.

It’s stewardship. 💙

Is there a “yes” you’ve been giving out of guilt instead of conviction? Tell me in the comments. 👇

Family issues. Friendship drama. Career pressures. Business challenges. Marital struggles.

It feels like you’re barely keeping your head above water and you’re losing your breath.

Then there are the opposite seasons. The marriage happened at the right time. Your husband’s relatives actually like you. 😄 The promotion came sooner than expected. Your business is thriving. You and your friends are giving everybody “friendship goals.” Life feels like a beautiful movie.

Yet somehow, there’s still an uncomfortable feeling deep inside. A lingering sense that something could go wrong at any moment.

THE PROBLEM WITH EVERYONE’S OPINION

To make matters worse, everyone seems to have an opinion about you.

One person says you’re strong. Another says you’re difficult. One says you’re confident. Another says you’re proud. One calls you kind. Another says you’re too soft.

At some point, you begin to wonder: “How many personalities do I actually have?” 😄

My dear, if you follow every opinion people have about you, you will run mad oo.

I have news for you. Sometimes it seems like we’re allowing life to happen to us without intentionality. And that is why I believe that the most important conversations you will ever have are not with your friends. Not with your mentor. Not even with your pastor.

The most important conversations happen within.

HAVE A MEETING WITH YOURSELF

Sit yourself down. Have a meeting with yourself. Ask questions. Lots of questions. Especially when life is not making sense.

Before you rush to seek advice, have that conversation first.

Ask yourself:

- How did I get here?

- Where was I before I got here?

- Did I play a role in creating this situation?

- What could I have done differently?

- If I didn’t create this problem, who or what did I allow into my life that contributed to it?

- Was it an action? Was it an inaction? Was it a pattern I ignored?

I know it may sound like I’m yarning and yarning, but trust me, this conversation is important. Because once you have it, prayer becomes different. You approach God with clarity. You can honestly say:

“Lord, I did the best I could and life still happened.”

Or:

“Lord, I messed up. I need mercy.”

You are no longer operating from confusion. And nobody has had the opportunity to fill your head with opinions before you’ve processed the situation yourself. That alone can save you from a lot of heartache.

IT MATTERS WHEN THINGS ARE GOING WELL TOO

What many people don’t realize is that these internal conversations are just as important when life is going well. In fact, they may be even more important.

When everything is working, sit down and ask yourself: “What contributed to this?”

If you discover that certain habits, disciplines, or decisions brought positive results, write them down. Document them. You can repeat them. Patterns produce patterns.

And if you realize that the success you’re enjoying cannot be explained merely by your effort, then you know how to pray. You go to God with gratitude. You acknowledge His grace. Because as Scripture reminds us, it is not by strength alone that anyone succeeds.

LEARNING WHO YOU REALLY ARE

Another beautiful thing about these conversations is that they help you learn who you really are. Not who society says you are. Not who social media says you are. Not who your family says you are.

You.

You begin to identify your behavioral patterns, strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, triggers, and pet peeves. You understand yourself better than anyone else does.

And honestly? That’s one of the most liberating ways to live.

I don’t necessarily believe in living life entirely on your own terms. But I do believe that before every important conversation with the world, there should first be a conversation within.

Because when you know yourself:

- People’s opinions don’t easily confuse you.

- Life’s challenges don’t easily overwhelm you.

- Success doesn’t easily get into your head.

- Failure doesn’t easily destroy you.

You become grounded. Intentional. Self-aware.

And from that place, every other conversation becomes better.

Before you seek answers from the world, spend some time asking yourself the right questions. The conversations you have within may not solve every problem, but they often reveal where the real problem begins.

And sometimes, the wisdom you’re looking for starts with simply sitting quietly and being honest with yourself. ❤️

What’s one question you need to sit down and ask yourself today? Tell me in the comments. 👇

You’ll see someone confidently heading toward what looks like an obvious ditch in the road of life, and when you lovingly try to caution them, they’ll say things like: “It’s my life. Let me do as I please.”

Or my personal favorite: “If it’s a mistake, let me make it. I’ll learn from it.”

Hmm. Allow me to burst your bubble a little. 😄

Not every mistake is a good teacher. Some mistakes are expensive teachers. And sometimes, the scars they leave stay with you for life.

LEARN FROM OTHER PEOPLE’S STORIES

I’ve always believed that one reason people go through certain painful experiences is so that others don’t have to. Some lessons are better learned from other people’s lives than from your own.

Yes, experiences differ. Yes, circumstances are not always the same. But in some situations, the only difference is the level of pain. One person may recover faster because they had support. Another may carry the consequences for decades.

Take a teenager who decides to drop out of school to pursue illegal mining, or “galamsey” as we call it. The attraction is understandable. Fast money. Quick success. A shortcut to wealth. And yes, there are stories of people who made money from it. But there are also countless stories of young people who lost their lives, their freedom, their health, or their future pursuing the same path.

Why should teenagers ignore all those warning signs just to “learn from experience”? Wouldn’t it be wiser to learn from the experiences of others and make a more informed decision?

Here’s another example. A young person starts experimenting with drugs because their friends are doing it. Again, we’ve seen this movie before. Many times. There are celebrities, public figures, and everyday people whose lives were completely altered by addiction. Some recovered. Many never did.

The evidence is already there. Why insist on touching fire to confirm that it’s hot?

NOT ALL MISTAKES ARE EQUAL

Now, don’t get me wrong. Some mistakes are recoverable. You choose the wrong school, you switch schools. You chose the wrong job, you resign and move on. You rent a house and later realize it’s not the best location, you relocate.

Painful? Yes. Catastrophic? Not usually. As we often say: “This too shall pass.”

But there are other decisions that carry much heavier consequences. Decisions like:

- Having unprotected sex and dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.

- Marrying the wrong person because you ignored every red flag.

- Taking on responsibilities you clearly cannot sustain.

- Making financial commitments that may take decades to recover from.

And before somebody comes for me... 😂 the example is just an example. I’m not attacking anybody.

The point is simple: some decisions don’t just affect you. They affect everyone connected to you. Your family. Your children. Your finances. Your peace of mind. Sometimes even your health.

QUESTIONS WORTH ASKING BEFORE THE DECISION

That is why before making a major decision, it’s important to pause and ask:

- How significant is this choice?

- What is the worst possible outcome?

- If this goes wrong, who else will be affected?

- Is the potential consequence temporary or long-term?

These are uncomfortable questions, but they can save you from unnecessary heartache.

WISDOM ISN’T ONLY LEARNED FIRSTHAND

One thing life has taught me is that wisdom is not just learning from your own mistakes. Wisdom is also learning from the mistakes of others.

There is no special award waiting for people who insist on making every mistake themselves. 😄

Some roads have enough warning signs. You don’t need to drive off the cliff to confirm the danger.

CARRY GOD ALONG

My advice? Don’t make major life decisions by yourself. Carry God along. He is far more interested in your future than you realize. His guidance can save you years of regret. His wisdom can help you avoid traps that may look attractive today but devastating tomorrow.

So before you make that decision, ask yourself: am I moving because it is wise? Or am I moving because I am determined to learn the hard way?

Because the truth is... some mistakes are expensive teachers. And some tuition fees are simply too high.

Experience may be the best teacher. But it is not the only teacher. Sometimes wisdom is paying attention to the lessons life has already taught someone else.

Why graduate with scars when you could have learned from a story?

💭 Not every lesson requires personal experience. Some require humility.

Has someone else’s story ever saved you from making the same mistake? Tell me in the comments. 👇

One thing I have come to realize is that when people help us in significant ways, we naturally feel indebted to them. And to be fair, there is nothing wrong with gratitude. In fact, gratitude is a beautiful thing.

The problem starts when gratitude slowly transforms into dependence. That’s when we miss the point.

ANGELS ON ASSIGNMENT

As we journey through life, God brings different kinds of people into our lives. Some are there to encourage us. Some are there to help us. Some are there to teach us lessons. And some are honestly there to test us. Yes, test us. 😄

The next time someone pushes your buttons, before you react, ask yourself: “If I slap this person right now, have I passed or failed this test?” Hehehehe.

Okay, let me be serious.

There are certain situations in life where, if God had not used specific people to help us, we may have ended up in prison, in poverty, or in a very bad place. Let’s tell the truth. Some of us can look back and identify certain people and say: “There is no way this person entered my life by accident.”

The timing was too perfect, the help was too precise, and the intervention was too significant. Sometimes help comes in ways that make you sit down and wonder whether God personally sent someone your way.

And honestly, I believe He does. I believe some people are God’s hands and feet on earth. For a moment in your life, they become angels on assignment.

Now before somebody misquotes me, let me clarify. 😄 I am not saying these people are perfect. Some of them may be difficult people. Some may be grumpy. Some may not even like everybody. But if God used them to lift you out of a hole, then in that moment they were part of God’s plan for your life.

WHEN GRATITUDE BECOMES DEPENDENCE

The problem is what happens next. Instead of thanking God for using them, we start focusing entirely on them. Without realizing it, we move our dependence from God to the helper.

Let’s talk about these famous “destiny helpers.” The moment someone helps us significantly, we begin looking to them for everything. One favor becomes an expectation. One act of kindness becomes a lifelong responsibility. One answered request becomes our entire strategy for survival.

Imagine this scenario. Your parents are unable to pay your university fees. An uncle generously steps in. He sponsors your education from first year to third year. You are grateful. Everything is going well. Then suddenly, in your final year, the support stops.

What happens? For some people, it feels as though life has ended. Their entire hope was tied to that one person.

My dear, don’t make people your source. Not your father. Not your mother. Not your spouse. Not your children. Not your boss. Not even your “destiny helper.” Why? Because they are humans. And human beings are limited.

FIVE DANGERS OF MAKING PEOPLE YOUR SOURCE

**1. You will never be truly fulfilled.** The person you are depending on is probably still trying to figure out their own life. How can someone who is still searching for fulfillment become your source of fulfillment? Only God can carry that weight.

**2. You may become bitter.** When your expectations of people become unrealistic, disappointment is inevitable. And repeated disappointment can make you lose faith in people altogether.

**3. You place your destiny in human hands.** Think about it. What happens if that person relocates? Loses their job? Falls sick? Or, God forbid, dies? Life happens. That is why your future should never be built on one person’s ability to help you.

**4. You become vulnerable to manipulation.** Some people are kind. Others are not. When someone becomes your source, you may find yourself agreeing to things you normally would never do simply because you’re afraid of losing their support. And the painful part? The help may still never come.

**5. You become blind to other opportunities.** This one is huge. You become so fixated on one source of help that you miss all the other doors God is opening. You keep staring at one person while God is sending help from another direction.

WHAT WE FORGET ABOUT HELPERS

Here’s something we often forget: whenever someone helps you, it is because God put it on their heart to do so. Human beings are naturally occupied with their own lives and responsibilities. You are not the only person with needs. The fact that someone chose to help you is already a blessing.

Another thing we forget is that life happens to helpers too. Yes. Destiny helpers need help sometimes. 😄 They get tired. They experience financial challenges. They go through emotional struggles. They have family problems. They carry burdens you know nothing about.

So just because your helper hasn’t told you what they’re going through doesn’t mean they’re fine.

And let me say something that may sting a little: it’s their money. It’s their time. It’s their effort. Whether God instructed them to help you or not, they still have a choice.

Before getting upset because someone refused your request, ask yourself: “Was it mine in the first place?”

Hmm. Food for thought.

PEOPLE ARE CHANNELS. GOD IS THE SOURCE.

So what should we do? Simple. Trust God, not people. People can be channels. God is the source. There is a difference.

Jeremiah 17:5 warns against placing our trust in man. Not because people are evil. But because people are limited.

Let’s be practical. You may have identified your wealthy uncle as your source of financial breakthrough. You may have identified your influential aunt as Plan B. Meanwhile, God has over eight billion people He can use. Eight billion! Your help doesn’t have to come through Uncle Kwame. 😄

God can raise help from places you never imagined. Someone can travel from Guatemala to Ghana just to open a door for you. Why? Because God has swag like that. 😄

HIS PLAN IS TO EMPOWER YOU

One thing I love about God is this: His ultimate plan is not for us to remain dependent. His plan is to empower us. To give us ideas. To open doors. To create opportunities. To establish us so firmly that one day we become a blessing to others.

Many times, our impatience is the real problem. Not because we are starving. Not because we will die. But because we are comparing ourselves to our friends.

Your friend enters university this year. You enter next year. You’re still alive.

Your friend can afford the three-bedroom apartment. You can afford a single room. You’ll still sleep. 😄

You see, in this life eeh... put all your eggs in God’s basket. Why? Because He doesn’t just own a basket. He owns the poultry farm. And if the eggs break, He can give you an entirely new farm. 😄

So when someone says they cannot help you, don’t become bitter. Maybe they genuinely can’t. And even if they can, they are not obligated to.

Be grateful for the help you’ve received. Appreciate people. Honor people. But never make people your source.

Because people are channels. God is the Source. And channels may change. But the Source never runs dry.

When God uses people to bless you, thank Him for the people. But keep your eyes on Him.

Because the moment you mistake the channel for the source, disappointment is usually waiting around the corner. 💭

**Have you ever mistaken a “destiny helper” for your actual source? What helped you course-correct? Tell me in the comments. 👇**

As I sat down to write this article, a funny thought crossed my mind. Maybe I should have called it: “In This Life, Just Be a Good Person.” 😄😄😄

But let’s stick with Sleeping With a Clear Conscience.

Sometimes I wonder whether previous generations experienced life the way we do today. This modern world is moving at a frightening speed. Everything feels urgent. Everything feels competitive. Everything feels like a race.

When I was in high school, we had a slang: “If you slack, you lack.” At the time, it sounded funny. Now it sounds like a prophecy. 😄

A WORLD MOVING TOO FAST

The pace of life today is unbelievable. And it’s not happening in just one area. It’s happening everywhere. In our careers. In business. In education. In family life. Even in our worship.

For example, how many of us still carry hard-copy Bibles to church? Some people don’t even use the Bible apps on their phones anymore because the scriptures are projected on the screen. And honestly, we appreciate the convenience. The church is pampering us small. 😄 But it is also a sign of how fast everything has become.

Then there’s social media. Ah.

Social media has changed everything. I don’t think there has ever been a generation that has produced so many young millionaires. Every day, you hear stories of people building businesses, creating content, launching brands, and generating wealth in ways previous generations could only dream about.

And honestly? I feel blessed to be alive in this era. Technology, social media, and artificial intelligence have opened doors for people who are willing to learn and work hard. It is amazing to watch.

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY

But there is another side to this story. As opportunities have increased, so has desperation. And sometimes, wickedness.

Many people are no longer interested in how success is achieved. They only care that it is achieved. It doesn’t matter who gets hurt. It doesn’t matter who gets stepped on. It doesn’t matter who gets left behind. As long as they get ahead.

The command to “love your neighbour as yourself” seems to have evolved into: “love your neighbour... if there’s something in it for you.” 😄

WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED?

Part of it is economic pressure. Let’s be honest. Life is expensive. People have school fees to pay. Rent to settle. Families to feed. Bills to clear. The pressure is real.

Another reason is comparison. And social media has made comparison easier than ever before.

You open your phone. Someone just bought a house. Another person just bought a car. Someone is celebrating a promotion. Someone is vacationing in a country you struggle to pronounce. 😄

Before you know it, you start feeling behind. You start questioning your progress. You start feeling inadequate.

And unfortunately, some people respond to this pressure in very unhealthy ways. They spread rumors. They damage reputations. They manipulate. They betray. They step on whoever they need to step on. Friend. Relative. Business partner. Church member. Even pastor. 😄

If there is something to gain, some people will carry you like Judas carried Jesus.

And let’s not ignore greed. Because what greed has caused some people eeh... they won’t see the consequences now. The effects will report for duty later. 😄 Greed is one appetite that never gets satisfied. The more it gets, the more it wants.

THE GREATEST BLESSING

Over the years, I have come to a conclusion. Apart from salvation itself, one of the greatest blessings a person can experience is sleeping with a clear conscience.

Imagine going to bed without bitterness. Without envy. Without guilt. Without manipulation. Without wicked intentions toward anyone. Without feeling the need to constantly defend yourself because you know you’ve acted honorably.

That kind of peace is priceless.

The Bible says in Psalm 24:3-4:

“Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in His holy place? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart...”

Clean hands. A pure heart. What a beautiful goal.

DON’T LET WICKEDNESS MAKE YOU WICKED

Now don’t misunderstand me. I know the world can be cruel. I know people can be wicked. I know some people have hurt you deeply. Maybe they betrayed you. Maybe they lied about you. Maybe they disappointed you. Maybe they broke your trust.

But please don’t let the wickedness of others turn you into the very thing that hurt you. Don’t allow bitterness to take permanent residence in your heart. It is too expensive.

Learn to forgive. Learn to release people. Not because they deserve it. But because your peace deserves it.

If your actions have caused someone pain, apologize. If someone has hurt you, work toward letting it go. Not for them. For you.

REMEMBER THE GOAL

The goal is not to be the richest person in the room. The goal is not to win every argument. The goal is not to prove everyone wrong.

The goal is: to sleep with a clear conscience. Today. Tomorrow. And every day after that.

And before I go, some of you may be asking: “Okay Amma, but how exactly do we achieve that?” 😄

Relax. I see you. Maybe that should be another article. After all, you know I’m an OGYACIOUS sister. 🤣🤣🤣 Let’s save that one for another day.

IN THE END

At the end of your life, there will always be people who have more money than you. More achievements than you. More possessions than you.

But very few things can compare to the peace that comes from knowing you’ve treated people well, lived honorably, and kept your heart clean.

So in this life... be successful. Be ambitious. Work hard. Dream big.

But above all else, sleep with a clear conscience. 🤍

**Is there anything weighing on your conscience right now that you know you need to make right? Tell me in the comments ; sometimes naming it is the first step. 👇**

It amazes me how confidently we plan our lives.

We create timelines. We set targets. We write down goals and map out exactly how our lives are supposed to unfold.

I remember when I was about 18 years old, I sat down with my journal and carefully planned the next five years of my life. Guess what number two was on the list? Immediately after university, I wanted to get married at 22 and have five children.

Five! 🤣🤣🤣

Looking back now, I am convinced God was reading my journal and laughing. Something like: “This my daughter is not serious.”

## THE TEMPLATE WE ALL SEEM TO HAVE

If we’re being honest, most of us have a similar template for success. Go to school. Get a good job or start a thriving business. Get married. Have children. Build a mansion. Buy a few luxury cars. Watch your children get married. Become a grandparent. Then eventually enjoy the sweet release of old age.

Simple, right?

Or so we think.

Then life starts happening. And suddenly, nothing follows the script. The job doesn’t come when expected. The business isn’t growing as planned. Marriage is delayed. Children aren’t arriving according to schedule. The opportunities are not showing up.

And before long, we find ourselves praying agitated prayers. You know the kind. The prayers where you’re trying to “help” God remember His promises. 😄 The ones where you’re almost negotiating with Him.

Sometimes I honestly think we believe we’ve suffered waiting on God. Meanwhile, God has probably suffered more in our hands through all our threats, bargaining, covenants, and emotional blackmail. 🤣🤣🤣

## YOUR PLANS ARE VALID. BUT...

Don’t get me wrong. Your plans are valid. There is nothing wrong with having goals. But God’s timing is still superior to our planning.

Take that Bentley you’re dreaming of owning before age 30. Nothing wrong with that. But if you’re earning GH₵6,000 a month, God knows that after buying the car, you may have to sell all your family members just to afford fuel. 😂😂😂

So He says: “Wait small.”

Not because He hates you. Not because He’s wicked. Because He sees what you don’t.

## WHEN LIFE DOESN’T MATCH THE TIMELINE

Over the years, I’ve met people who became angry with God. Some stopped going to church altogether. Others concluded that God doesn’t answer prayers. Some even stopped believing He exists.

Why? Because life didn’t go according to their timeline.

Imagine applying for jobs for three years. Thousands of applications. Rejection after rejection. Or worse, complete silence. Then the pastor stands up every Sunday and says: “Prosperity is yours.” You begin wondering whether he’s preaching from the Bible or from another planet. 😄

I understand that frustration. I really do.

But here’s the thing: God is not in a hurry. You are. I am. God isn’t.

Proverbs 19:21 says:

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

Notice it doesn’t say our plans are bad. It simply says His purpose wins. Every single time.

## WHAT IF WE ASKED DIFFERENT QUESTIONS?

What if, instead of always telling God our plans and asking Him to bless them, we occasionally asked:

- “Lord, what are Your plans for me?”

- “Why did You put me on this earth?”

- “What is Your purpose for my life?”

Now, don’t expect Him to send you a detailed PowerPoint presentation with timelines, milestones, and a retirement plan. 😄 But He does guide. Sometimes through His Word. Sometimes through a sermon. Sometimes through repeated nudges in your spirit. Sometimes through open and closed doors.

You may be praying to rent a three-bedroom house. Meanwhile, God is trying to introduce you to real estate.

You may be praying for one child. Meanwhile, God is preparing you to impact hundreds of children through an orphanage.

You may be thinking small. God is often thinking much bigger. Because frankly... He has swag like that. 😉

## SOMETIMES THE ANSWER IS “NO”

Sometimes God’s answer isn’t delayed. It’s simply “No.” And let’s be honest... we don’t like hearing that.

You keep praying about that relationship. The more you pray, the more shege the person shows you. 😄 Yet somehow, you are still there, fasting and doing midnight prayers. Meanwhile, God is saying: “My daughter, my son... please read the signs.”

Sometimes God’s “No” is the greatest act of love you will ever experience.

Other times, His answer isn’t “No.” It’s: “Wait.” Not because He wants to frustrate you. But because He’s arranging things. Fixing things. Building things. Preparing things. So that when you arrive at your destination, you’re actually ready for it.

## GOD ALWAYS SEES FURTHER THAN WE DO

One lesson I’ve learned is that God always sees further than we do. That’s the advantage of being God. He already sees tomorrow. What we call the future is His present.

Maybe you want to become the CEO of a multinational company tomorrow. God sees the attacks, pressures, and responsibilities that come with that position. He knows you’re not ready yet. So while you’re complaining about being a bank teller, He’s quietly building your character, your resilience, and your spiritual capacity.

You’re upset. God is preparing.

Or maybe you’re worried because you’re not married yet. Your timeline has expired. Your friends are posting anniversary pictures. Their children are wearing matching Christmas outfits. And you’re wondering: “God, where is my own?” 😄

Please relax. That person you’re wishing for may be a disaster God is protecting you from. And God’s delay may be the very thing preserving your peace.

## HIS TIMING WAS ALWAYS BETTER

I’ve learned that God rarely works according to my schedule. Almost never, actually. 😄

But every time I look back, I realize something: His timing was better. His plan was better. His outcome was better.

So maybe that’s the lesson. Maybe we don’t need to rush as much. Maybe we don’t need to panic every time life doesn’t match our timeline. Maybe we need to trust that the One who created us knows what He’s doing.

Because at the end of the day: God is not in a hurry. And that’s okay.

So perhaps we shouldn’t be in such a hurry either.

The older I get, the more I realize that God’s delays are rarely denials. Sometimes they’re protection, preparation, or redirection. But almost always, they’re working for our good.

So if life isn’t following your timeline right now, take heart. You may be behind your schedule. But you’re never behind God’s. ❤️

**Where in your life are you currently waiting on God’s “wait small”? Tell me in the comments — let’s encourage each other while we wait. 👇**

We live in a generation where being self-made has become the ultimate badge of honor.

We celebrate stories of people who started with nothing, slept only three hours a night, sacrificed everything, and built an empire from scratch. And to be fair, that’s impressive. Hard work deserves recognition.

But there is only so far the “I did it all by myself” narrative can take us.

At the same time, we are living in a generation where loyalty seems increasingly rare. Many people have been betrayed. Others have been disappointed. Some have trusted the wrong people and paid a heavy price for it.

As a result, many have chosen a different path: they work alone. They build alone. They struggle alone. Some even choose to raise children alone because, in their minds, it brings more peace.

And honestly? I understand. Because in today’s world, peace is a currency more valuable than money.

LET ME BE CLEAR FIRST

Now before someone misunderstands me, let me be clear. I fully acknowledge that allowing people into your life comes with risks. Human beings can be complicated, what am I even saying? Human beings *are* complicated!!

They can disappoint you. They can hurt you. They can misunderstand your intentions.

And no, I am not talking about dating or marriage in this article. I’m talking about friendships, partnerships, communities, and the people God places in our lives for different seasons.

Despite all the complications that come with human relationships, I still believe one thing with my whole heart: life was never designed for you to walk alone.

WE WERE CREATED FOR CONNECTION

God did not create us to be islands. He created us for connection. For community. For collaboration. For support. For comfort. For growth.

In simple terms? He created us to do life together.

Think about it. God places us in families. He places us in friendships. He places us in churches. He places us in schools. He places us in organizations.

Why? Because there are certain burdens that become lighter when they are shared. There are certain victories that become sweeter when celebrated together. And there are certain seasons that would be almost impossible to survive without people around us.

No matter how difficult life gets, there’s something comforting about knowing you’re not carrying it all alone.

Sometimes people don’t even need solutions. They just need presence. Someone to sit with them. Someone to listen. Someone to remind them that they are not alone.

LET’S TALK BUSINESS FOR A MOMENT

I’ve never heard of a multinational company that was built by one person and continues to be run successfully by that one person alone. It doesn’t happen.

Take companies like Amazon, Meta, or SpaceX. Yes, they may have started with founders and visionaries. But when it was time to grow, scale, and expand, they needed people. They needed teams. They needed partnerships. They needed expertise. They needed collaboration.

And honestly, I think this is one reason many businesses remain stagnant. Not because the vision is bad. Not because the owners are unintelligent. But because they’re afraid to collaborate. Afraid to trust. Afraid to bring people on board. Afraid of being disappointed again.

What’s interesting is that when you study successful entrepreneurs, you’ll discover something. Most of them have stories of betrayal. Stories of bad partnerships. Stories of people who let them down.

Yet they didn’t allow those experiences to make them withdraw from everyone. They learned. They healed. They adjusted. And then they continued building.

SO WHAT AM I “CHAGGING”? 😄As the Gen Zs would say.

I’m simply saying this: don’t allow the hurt, disappointment, or betrayal of a few people to stop your progress in life. Not in business. Not in your career. Not in friendships. Not in your calling.

The Bible says:

“One can chase a thousand, two can put ten thousand to flight.”

And no, that scripture is not only about marriage. Think about the principle behind it. If two people can put ten thousand to flight, imagine what three, four, or five like-minded people can accomplish when they are moving in the same direction.

There is power in healthy partnerships. There is power in community. There is power in doing life with the right people.

PRAY FOR DIVINE ALIGNMENT

Now, if trusting people feels difficult because of what you’ve experienced, let me suggest something. Instead of giving up on people altogether... pray for divine alignment.

Ask God to align you with:

- The right friends

- The right mentors

- The right business partners

- The right colleagues

- The right community

And please understand: divine alignment does not mean there will never be conflict. Human beings are still human beings. 😄 There will be disagreements. There will be misunderstandings. There will be moments of frustration.

The difference is that healthy relationships resolve conflict instead of running from it. And many times, successfully navigating conflict makes the relationship even stronger.

A WORD ABOUT “CUTTING PEOPLE OFF”

As much as toxic people can be dangerous influences, don’t be too quick to cut people off over every little offense. I know “cut them off” has become very fashionable these days. 😄

But sometimes, what we call boundaries is actually unforgiveness wearing sunglasses.

Forgiveness is strength. Grace is strength. Patience is strength. Nobody is perfect. Not you. Not me. Not the people in our lives.

So learn to extend grace to good people who occasionally fall short. After all... I’m pretty sure someone somewhere is extending that same grace to you. Hahaha. 😄

TAKE THE LESSON, NOT THE BITTERNESS

Take the lessons that betrayal taught you. Take the wisdom that disappointment gave you. Take the discernment that came from being hurt.

But don’t take bitterness. And don’t take isolation.

Because the same God who called you to build the vision also created people who may be part of helping you build it. Never lose sight of the bigger picture.

Nobody is an island. And no matter how independent we become... life was never designed for you to walk alone.

Sometimes the answer to your next level is not found in working harder alone. Sometimes it is found in the people God has strategically placed around you.

The wisdom is learning how to discern who to walk with, without convincing yourself that you must walk by yourself. 🤍

**Have you ever had to choose between isolation and healthy vulnerability with people? What helped you decide? Tell me in the comments, I’d love to hear your story. 👇**

When people praise us, we tend to light up inside. Their compliments motivate us, and sometimes they even push us to do more of whatever they are praising us for.

On the other hand, when people criticize us, we often do the opposite. We start shrinking, we begin questioning ourselves. Sometimes we even stop doing good things simply because someone had something negative to say about it.

If you ask me, that’s a very exhausting way to live.

I once heard a great man of God say something that has stayed with me for years:

“Treat people’s praises like chewing gum. Once the taste is gone, spit it out. Don’t swallow it.”

Funny, but very true.

The same applies to criticism. Not every compliment should get into your head, and not every criticism deserves a permanent place in your heart.

## SO HOW DO YOU LIVE INDEPENDENTLY OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK?

The answer is simple, though not always easy: become deeply self-aware.

Take time away from the noise. Take a break from the endless notifications, conversations, meetings, and responsibilities. Sit with yourself.

Ask yourself:

- Who am I really?

- What are my values?

- What are my strengths?

- What are my weaknesses?

- What habits am I proud of?

- What habits am I currently working on?

- What annoys me?

- What motivates me?

You should know yourself well enough that when people describe you, you’re not hearing that information for the first time.

## WHY SELF-AWARENESS PROTECTS YOU

One of the benefits of self-awareness is that people’s opinions lose their power to destabilize you.

Why? Because you already know the truth about yourself. If someone points out one of your weaknesses, it doesn’t shock you. You already know it’s there. You’re already working on it.

And if someone starts spreading stories that have absolutely no truth in them, you are not easily shaken because you know they are simply projecting their opinions onto you.

The dangerous path is accepting every opinion that comes your way as truth. That is a recipe for confusion.

The Bible talks about a double-minded person being unstable in all their ways. Why? Because every voice becomes their compass. Every opinion becomes a new direction. Every criticism becomes a crisis. Every compliment becomes an identity.

Imagine living like that. Today someone says you’re amazing, and you’re on top of the world. Tomorrow someone says you’re terrible, and your whole confidence collapses.

Ah! That sounds stressful. 😄

## LET ME USE MYSELF AS AN EXAMPLE

I have already confessed in a previous article that I am a certified talkative. My “chochocho” is plenty. In fact, part of the reason I started writing is because speaking alone was no longer sufficient. 😄

So if a group of people gather somewhere and decide to troll me because I talk too much, honestly, they’ll be wasting their precious data.

Why? Because I already know. This is not breaking news. I have accepted the reality and I’m actively working on improving it. Their comments won’t move me because they are telling me something I already know.

On the flip side, imagine somebody comes to me and says: “Amma is such a quiet person.”

At this point, I don’t know whether to laugh or check if they have mistaken me for someone else. 😄 Because we all know that statement is not true.

And this is exactly my point. Even if everybody lies to you, don’t lie to yourself.

There are compliments you should politely reject internally because you know they don’t reflect reality. And there are criticisms you should completely ignore because they are based on assumptions, projections, or people’s personal expectations of you.

## DON’T LET PEOPLE DEFINE YOU THROUGH THEIR LENS

One of the most dangerous things you can do is allow other people to define you through their lens.

People see life from their own experiences. Sometimes they misunderstand you. Sometimes they misjudge you. Sometimes they simply don’t know enough about your situation.

For example, someone may call you wicked because you refused to lend them money. But what if you genuinely didn’t have the money? Or what if giving them money would have put you into financial difficulty yourself? Does saying “no” automatically make you wicked? Of course not!

Yet some people will gladly hand over money they don’t have, or even borrow money themselves, just to avoid being called names.

My question is: is that really the kind of life you want to live?

## KNOW YOURSELF

Know yourself. Study yourself. Understand yourself. Apart from God, you should know yourself more than anyone else does.

That way, people don’t get to define you with their opinions. They don’t get to use their lens as your mirror.

Accept genuine feedback. Reject unnecessary labels. Work on your weaknesses. Celebrate your strengths.

But above all... don’t lie to yourself.

Because when you know who you are, both praise and criticism lose the power to control your life.

Not everything people say about you is true. But not everything people say about you is false either. The wisdom is knowing the difference, and that starts with knowing yourself.

**What’s a label someone tried to put on you that you had to reject because it just wasn’t true? Tell me in the comments. 👇**

And no, I’m not talking only about romantic relationships. In fact, in my opinion, some friendships are stronger than many love relationships.

Everyone close to me knows that I am a very self-aware person. One thing about me is that although I can be everybody’s friend, I have a small circle of people who are incredibly dear to me. Those are my people. The ones who know the unfiltered version of Amma. The ones who have seen me laugh until I cried, cry until I laughed, and probably listened to my endless “chochocho” more times than they deserved. 😄

So, if you had told me ten years ago that someone from that circle would one day simply walk out of my life, not because they died, not because we had a dramatic fallout, but simply because they chose a different path, I would have called you a false prophet without hesitation.

Yet it happened. Not once, not twice.

## THE HEARTBREAK NO ONE WARNS YOU ABOUT

Let me tell you something. There is a type of heartbreak that comes from losing a friendship that no romantic heartbreak can compare to.

Why?

Because, as we say in the sisterhood code: guys come and go, but sisterhood is forever.

At least that’s what we thought. Sometimes life has other plans.

One thing I have learned is that life happens. People go through seasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you. Sometimes they change. Sometimes their priorities change. Sometimes the version of life they want no longer includes the relationship the way it once did.

And as painful as it may be to admit... that’s okay.

I have also learned that there is no point clinging to someone who no longer values your presence. Relationships were never meant to be prisons. If someone has mentally checked out, holding on tighter rarely fixes anything. It usually just hurts more.

## THE BRIGHTER SIDE

Now let me help you look at the brighter side. 😄

Remember all those matters you were supposed to take to God in prayer but decided to discuss extensively with your friends instead? Well... if those friends have left, God’s arms are still open wide. His ears are still available. And unlike some people, He never gets tired of hearing the latest gist. Hehehehe. 😄

If you truly did your best in the relationship and the person still left, please don’t spend the next ten years beating yourself up. Sometimes people leave simply because their assignment in your life is complete.

A great man of God once said:

“If people choose to leave your life, let them go. Your destiny is not tied to anyone who left.”

That statement used to be difficult for me to accept. Now, I understand it much better.

## WHAT I USED TO BELIEVE ABOUT FRIENDSHIP

For a long time, I thought the best friendships were the ones formed in childhood. The people you grew up with, the people who knew you before life became complicated. The people who knew your parents, your awkward moments, your embarrassing stories.

Those friendships are beautiful, don’t get me wrong. But as I grew older, and hopefully wiser, I realized something. That idea wasn’t necessarily from God.

God lives in eternity. What we call the future is His present. Think about that for a moment.

Sometimes we become so attached to what was that we completely miss what could be. We assume our greatest friendships are behind us. Meanwhile, God may have incredible people waiting for us ahead. People who will understand us better. People who will encourage us differently. People who may walk with us for the rest of our lives.

So yes. Some relationships expire. And that’s okay.

*(Abeg, I’m not talking about marriage o. Before somebody carries this article and starts trouble in their house. 😄 I’m talking about genuine friendships and relationships that simply reached the end of their purpose.)*

## WHY DO WE HOLD ON SO TIGHT?

Sometimes we try so hard to keep people who no longer want to be kept. But isn’t that a little selfish? Why force what someone else no longer wants? Why spend years chasing a friendship that has already left emotionally?

The truth is simple:

Some friendships last a lifetime. Some friendships last a season. The challenge is that in the beginning, they often look exactly the same.

That is why we need discernment. The kind only God can give.

## BRING YOUR HUG

So if you’ve ever lost a friendship that meant the world to you... come here. Bring your hug. 🤗

I’ve been there too. More than once. And while it hurt deeply, I’ve made my peace with it. In fact, I am happier now than I imagined I could be back then.

People may leave. Friends may come and go. Seasons may change. But whatever you do, don’t push away the One Friend who never leaves, God.

Because losing every friend and still having God is survivable. Losing God while trying to hold on to everyone else... now that’s a recipe for disaster.

## CHAPTERS VS. THE ENTIRE BOOK

Not every relationship is meant to last forever. Some people are chapters. Others are the entire book. The wisdom is learning not to confuse the two.

And when a chapter ends, don’t spend your whole life rereading it.

There may be a beautiful new chapter waiting to begin. ❤️

**Have you ever had to let go of a friendship you thought would last forever? How did you make peace with it? Tell me in the comments — I read every single one. 👇**

I was expecting compliments.

You know... things like: “Amma, you’re brilliant.” “Amma, you’re insightful.” “Amma, the world is lucky to have you.” Something along those lines. 😄

Instead, it pointed out an area for development that honestly left me wondering whether I should be impressed or offended.

The tool concluded that one of my biggest challenges was that I tend to wait too long before starting anything. Its reasoning? Because I like to have everything figured out before I make a move, whether in my career, business, or personal projects. According to ChatGPT, this habit has cost me opportunities over the years.

My reaction?

“The impudence of a dying cockroach!” 😂

I did not take it well. Not at all. In fact, I thought I finally understood why people say AI makes mistakes. Surely, ChatGPT had gotten it wrong this time.

But then I did something dangerous. I sat down and reflected. Not for two minutes, not for five minutes. I took an honest look at the last fifteen-plus years of my life and career.

And as painful as it was to admit... no single lie was told.

## THE HABIT I DIDN’T WANT TO SEE

I realized that I had developed a habit of waiting until I felt 100% ready before making any significant move. I wanted certainty. I wanted confidence. I wanted all the answers. I wanted to know exactly how things would turn out before taking the first step.

By the time I finally felt “ready,” one of two things had usually happened:

- Someone else had already executed the idea.

- Someone else had already gotten the opportunity.

Ouch.

That realization humbled me. It became clear that my fear wasn’t failure. My fear was starting before I felt fully prepared. And because of that, I delayed. A lot.

From that moment, I made a decision. I would start taking the step first and learn along the way. Not recklessly, not carelessly, but faithfully.

Because the truth is, many of life’s greatest opportunities don’t come with complete instructions.

## THE PERSON THIS IS FOR

This article is for anyone who may be stuck in the same place I was. The person waiting for the perfect timing, the perfect plan, the perfect amount of money, the perfect level of confidence, the perfect conditions before they begin.

Can I tell you something?

While you’re waiting for perfect, someone else is moving with available.

And many times, available beats perfect. Every single time.

## GIDEON WAS HIDING

Think about Gideon. When the angel appeared to him, he called him:

> “Mighty man of valour.”

Meanwhile, Gideon was hiding. Hiding ooo! 😄 Imagine that.

The angel didn’t call him according to his current state. He called him according to what God saw inside him.

That teaches me something powerful. God does not always wait for us to become what He called us before He calls us. Sometimes He calls us first, and we become it along the journey.

I have also realized that God does not necessarily need a perfect vessel. He needs a willing one. A yielded one. Someone who is willing to say:

> “Lord, I don’t have everything figured out, but I am willing to move.”

Then He does the moulding. He does the shaping. He does the refining.

## SO LET ME ASK YOU

Has God given you an idea? A business? A ministry? A project? A career move? A difficult conversation you need to have? A family reconciliation you’ve been postponing?

Please don’t wait ten years like I did.

Take the step. You may not have all the information today, but you will gather information along the way. You may not have all the confidence today, but confidence grows through action. Not waiting.

## THE REAL RISK

One lesson I’ve learned is this: the risk of waiting too long isn’t just delay. The risk is that you remain standing in a place God has already asked you to leave.

And let’s be honest, God has other children. 😄 Don’t forget that.

If God gives ten people an assignment and nine people are still waiting for things to become perfect, the one person who moves in faith may end up walking into the opportunity first. Not because they were the smartest. Not because they were the most qualified. But because they moved.

I thank God that He gave me another chance. I thank Him for the grace to start writing again. I thank Him for the opportunities that still came my way.

But if I’m being completely honest, I sometimes wish I had started earlier.

## SO LEARN FROM MY STORY

Don’t keep waiting at a place God has already left.

Take the course. Apply for the role. Start the business. Write the article. Have the conversation. Launch the project. Make the move.

Because sometimes the biggest risk is not failure. The biggest risk is waiting so long to begin that you miss the opportunity altogether.

You do not need perfect conditions to start. You simply need enough faith to take the first step. The rest can be learned along the way.

**What’s the one thing you’ve been waiting for “perfect” conditions to start? Tell me in the comments — let’s hold each other accountable. 👇**

This is probably the first article I’ve written using a real-life example that has stayed with me for years.

I think I was about thirteen years old.

At the time, a deaconess from our church came to our house to speak with my dad, who was an elder of the church. She was having challenges in her marriage and desperately needed counsel.

Now, my thirteen-year-old mind couldn’t fully understand everything she was saying, but one thing I remember clearly was how passionately she spoke about her struggles.

My father listened patiently and then began encouraging her from the Scriptures.

He spoke about faith.

He spoke about endurance.

And, of course, he spoke about patience.

He explained how patience is a virtue and how God rewards those who learn to wait.

The deaconess listened attentively as my father preached what was honestly a very powerful sermon on patience.

Then something happened. 😂

THE PLOT TWIST

After the conversation, we offered to drive her home.

Everything was going smoothly until we got to a traffic light. The light turned green, meaning it was our turn to move.

Suddenly, a reckless driver cut across us out of nowhere and then had the audacity to start insulting my father.

Without missing a beat, my dad yelled:

“You are a big foo...”

And right there, in the middle of the sentence, he realized what was coming out of his mouth.

The car became silent.

The deaconess turned slowly toward him and said:

“Ei, Elder!” 🤣🤣🤣

To this day, we still laugh about it.

THE LESSON UNDER THE LAUGHTER

As funny as this story is, it highlights a truth I’ve come to appreciate over the years: patience is much easier to preach than it is to practice.

Many of us give excellent advice when we’re standing outside the situation. We sound wise. We sound spiritual. We sound mature. Then life puts us in the exact same position, and somehow we end up doing worse than the person we advised.

Why?

Because patience is easy when nothing urgent is demanding your attention. Patience is easy when you are not the one suffering. Patience is easy when the problem belongs to someone else.

For example, imagine you got married and within two months, you became pregnant with twins. Everything went smoothly. Healthy pregnancy. Healthy delivery. Healthy babies.

Now imagine sitting beside a friend who has been married for ten years. Ten years. Several miscarriages. Countless tears. Many prayers. And not a single child yet.

Are you really in the best position to lecture that person about patience while carrying twins on your lap?

Let’s be honest. Most of us would struggle to receive that advice.

Yet this is what we often do. Sometimes, instead of praying with people, we preach at them. Instead of comforting them, we correct them. Instead of listening, we start giving solutions.

Sometimes all people need is your presence. Your understanding. Your prayers. Your shoulder. Not another sermon.

WHAT LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME

One lesson life has taught me is this: before giving advice, place yourself in the other person’s shoes.

Ask yourself honestly: “If I were facing exactly what this person is facing, would I gladly take the advice I’m about to give?”

That’s a difficult question. But it’s a necessary one.

We live in a world where people are carrying burdens we know absolutely nothing about. Some are fighting battles they cannot even put into words. Some are smiling publicly while breaking privately. Some are waiting for answers that seem to take forever to come.

So let’s give people grace. Lots of it. Because one day, you may need that same grace yourself.

And finally, here’s a thought I constantly remind myself of:

Until you have personally walked through a situation that required patience...

Until you have applied the lessons you’re teaching...

Until you’ve seen God come through on the other side...

Your advice is mostly theory. Not necessarily wrong. Just untested. And there’s a difference.

Patience is a beautiful message to preach, but it becomes truly powerful when it has been lived.

So before you hand out advice, try offering understanding first. The person may not remember every word you said. But they will never forget how supported they felt when they needed it most.

And please, if you’re ever preaching patience, pray that nobody cuts in front of your car immediately afterward. 😄😂 Because life has a funny way of testing our sermons almost instantly.

Have you ever preached something you struggled to practice yourself? Tell me about it in the comments, I promise not to judge (much) 😏

Have you ever tried to be as respectful, as kind, and as “well-behaved” as possible — to your parents, your boss, your mentor, your spouse, your friends and somehow, it still wasn’t enough?

Instead, you end up being spoken to in ways that are condescending, sometimes even outright disrespectful?

Or let’s bring it closer home. You heard a sermon about loving your neighbour as yourself, and now you keep lending your hard-earned money to people who have never paid you back — but still show up again, smiling, asking for more. And you still give them.

Sigh. In fact, let me sigh the Ghanaian way… “hmmmmmmmm.”

## Let’s Get One Thing Clear

Humility is a powerful virtue. It is something God Himself recommends. In fact, the Bible says:

“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” — James 4:6

So clearly, humility is not optional. It attracts grace.

But here is where I think we’ve gotten it wrong. **Our definition of humility is flawed.**

What many of us call humility today has quietly become a gateway for being taken advantage of, being silenced, and in some cases, damaging our own mental health.

We’ve reduced humility to:

- “Just keep quiet”

- “Don’t talk back”

- “Endure everything, one day God will vindicate you”

And sometimes even — bowing physically, while the heart carries pride or resentment.

Let me say something that may sound uncomfortable: **some of the people who perform the loudest acts of “humility” are actually some of the proudest people.**

Yes… I said it. 😄

## So What Is True Humility?

In my opinion, humility is a matter of the heart. It is:

1. Submitting to God’s will

2. Aligning yourself with His Word

3. Prioritizing what God wants over your own ego

That’s it. Not performance. Not people-pleasing. Not silent suffering.

So you can kneel down every time, greet everyone properly (as you should, o 😄), and *still* not be humble if you are not aligned with God’s will.

And please hear this: **do not let anyone gaslight you into being timid or foolish in the name of humility.**

Let me “touch small example” 😄

Philippians 4:6 tells us not to worry, but to pray about everything. Now be honest… do you find yourself worrying about things you cannot control? Eh? 😄 Then… my dear… small pride dey inside o. I’m not the one saying it o, the Bible said it. Abeg, don’t shoot the messenger. 😂

Do you want another example, or should I continue? 😄

## Real Examples of Humility

### Joseph

When Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce him, Joseph ran. Why? Because he said, *”How can I do this and sin against God?”*

Now imagine — to Potiphar’s wife, Joseph may have looked proud or disrespectful. But to God? That was humility! Joseph chose to please God over pleasing man.

*(Genesis 39)*

### David

David went to deliver food to his brothers. Simple errand. But then he saw Goliath… and started asking questions. His brother got angry and called him arrogant.

David o… arrogant? 😄

Did David say, “Let me go home so I can prove I’m humble”? **NO!** He stayed, confronted Goliath, and delivered Israel. That is humility. He didn’t disrespect his brother, but he didn’t let his brother stop him from obeying God.

*(1 Samuel 17)*

### Jesus

Ah… my Jesus. 👏🏽 So many examples, but let me pick just two.

When they told Him Herod wanted to kill Him, He said: *”Go tell that fox…”* (Luke 13:32)

A whole king!! Jesus called him a fox? 😄 Was that arrogance? **NO!** That was confidence rooted in purpose.

And what about when He drove traders out of the temple? Some people would say, “Ah, Jesus, calm down… be humble.” But He was restoring what was right. That too… was humility.

## What Does This Show Us?

Many of us have been practicing false humility — doing things to gain approval, to avoid conflict, to please people, without checking if it aligns with God’s will.

## So How Do You Become Truly Humble?

Simple.

1. Study God’s Word for yourself.

2. Understand what He wants from you.

3. Let that be your standard — not pressure from people.

And please, hear this clearly: **do not let anyone talk down to you and you keep quiet just because you are “humble.”**

- Set boundaries.

- Learn when to say no — to disrespect, to manipulation, to pressure.

- And also learn when to keep quiet, just like David did at certain moments.

None of the great men we admire in the Bible were pushovers. Not even Moses, the meekest man on earth.

So no, humility is not timidity. And it is definitely not stupidity.

**Stand your ground. Follow God. And let your humility come from alignment… not fear.**

Have you ever been in a situation where someone you deeply respect gives you advice and even though something inside you doesn’t fully agree, you still follow it?

Not because you’re convinced but because it almost feels wrong not to.

Like saying “no” would be disrespectful.

If that’s you, then this is especially for you.

I BELIEVE IN GODLY COUNSEL

Let me start by saying this: I believe in godly counsel.

I’ve been blessed to receive advice from people I truly respect, and some of that advice has changed my life. There are decisions I made because of wise counsel that protected me from what looked like great opportunities but were actually traps. That same counsel led me into spaces, relationships, and experiences I could never have imagined.

Scripture says: “Where there is no guidance, a people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” — Proverbs 11:14

And I have seen that scripture come alive in my own life.

BUT HERE’S THE OTHER SIDE

But here is the other side we don’t always talk about.

There are moments when advice—even well-meaning advice—starts to feel heavy. Almost like pressure. Sometimes even like bondage.

And because it comes from someone we admire, we go along with it. Even when it doesn’t sit well with us.

The danger in that is this: when things don’t go as expected, we may begin to resent the very person who was trying to help us. And without realizing it, we damage relationships that were meant to add value to our lives.

So, what do you do in situations like this?

When you receive advice from someone you feel you “can’t” say no to, but you’re not at peace with it?

FIVE THINGS TO REMEMBER

1. PAUSE AND CHECK YOUR HEART

Be honest with yourself.

Is the advice right, and your discomfort is just your ego reacting? Or is there a genuine lack of alignment?

If putting your ego aside and following the advice will lead to growth, then you already have your answer.

But if there’s a deeper misalignment—take time to understand why.

2. REMEMBER: ADVICE IS STILL SOMEONE’S PERSPECTIVE

Even the best advice is shaped by someone else’s experiences, timing, and journey.

And those may not fully match your current reality.

What worked for them may not necessarily work the same way for you.

Their path is not your path. Their season is not your season.

3. GOD HIMSELF DOES NOT FORCE US

This is something I’ve had to remind myself of.

God, in all His power, does not force His will on us. He guides. He nudges. He corrects. But He allows us to grow into understanding.

So we also shouldn’t put ourselves under pressure as though every human opinion is final.

You have the right to hear counsel and decide.

4. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE

At the end of the day, your life is your responsibility. Not your mentors’. Not your friends’. Not your family or your boss.

You cannot live your life on borrowed decisions and you cannot blame someone else for an outcome you agreed to, even if it was influenced by their advice.

Ownership is powerful. It sets you free.

5. STAY GROUNDED IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

This is the anchor. No matter who gives you advice, always align it with God’s Word.

When your relationship with God is strong, you will have a quiet witness in your heart—a sense of peace or caution that guides your decisions.

And that peace is important. More important than appearing agreeable to someone else.

THE BALANCE

So yes, value advice. Seek counsel. Learn from others.

But remember this: It is not compulsory to take every piece of advice you receive.

Good advice can take you far in life. But wisdom is knowing which advice to follow and when.

You are capable. You are wise enough to make decisions for your own life. And you don’t need permission to do that.

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What’s a piece of advice you received that didn’t sit right with you? How did you handle it? Drop your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear from you.

I truly hope this blesses you.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A SITUATION...

Have you ever been in a situation where you prayed about something deeply…and it felt like God was silent?

Or maybe you’ve seen someone prayerful, kind, faithful, impactful go through something so painful it didn’t make sense?

Sometimes life happens in ways that leave us with more questions than answers.

And yet, many of us were raised to believe something like this: “Do not ask God why. He is sovereign. He does what He wants.”

But in my humble opinion… that is not the full picture.

THE REAL RELATIONSHIP

Our relationship with God is not a slave–master relationship. Jesus came so that we could have a love relationship with our Heavenly Father.

And love, real love makes room for honesty, even when it is uncomfortable.

Let me tell you what happens when we do not ask questions and instead bottle everything up inside.

On the outside, it can look like we have moved on. People may even compliment us, saying things like, “Your faith is so strong.”

But deep down, our hearts may still be hurting, still confused, still questioning.

And over time, something subtle begins to happen: We may continue to pray… but we stop truly believing that God will answer.

Because the heart speaks louder than the lips in the presence of God.

You may be saying words of thanksgiving, but in your heart, you are quietly wondering, “God, why would You allow this?” or even, “God, are You really good?”

Scripture says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” – Isaiah 29:13

THAT IS WHY...

That is why, for the sake of your heart…Ask God your questions.

You might be wondering: “If I ask God why… how will He answer me?”

From my experience, God answers in different ways.

THROUGH HIS WORD

Sometimes a scripture will come to you bringing clarity, strength, or comfort exactly when you need it.

THROUGH PEOPLE

A friend, a family member… even a simple conversation. Someone may say something “random” that speaks directly to the question in your heart.

THROUGH A SERMON

You may hear a message that feels like it was prepared just for you. That is not coincidence, that is connection.

BUT MY FAVORITE WAY...

But my favorite way God answers is this: Perspective.

Perspective does not always come immediately. Sometimes it takes time.

But when it comes, it stays.

When you ask God specific questions, He has a way of showing you His perspective sometimes through real-life experiences. Because God is omniscient, what we call the future, He already sees.

Think about this:

You prayed about a relationship. Everything seemed perfect. You believed it would work. But it didn’t. And it ended, even though you felt you did everything right.

So you ask God, “Why?”

At first, there may be silence.

But months later, you meet someone who aligns far better with your purpose, your values, your future.

And suddenly… it makes sense. That is perspective.

And this doesn’t just apply to relationships. It applies to your career, your business, your family, your ministry and every area of your life.

SO ASK GOD WHY

So ask God why. He is not threatened by your questions. He is not intimidated by your emotions. And He certainly is not upset with your honesty.

He has answers.

You may not always understand them immediately…but with time, you will.

No matter what you are going through, hold on to these truths:

God loves you more than you love yourself.

God is never wicked.

God desires a relationship with you not a distant, fearful existence.

And in that relationship, there is space for your questions, your honesty, and your healing.

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What questions have you been afraid to ask God? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

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