There are certain statements I’ve been hearing a lot lately, and I’m still not sure whether they originated from Millennials or Gen Zs.
You’ll see someone confidently heading toward what looks like an obvious ditch in the road of life, and when you lovingly try to caution them, they’ll say things like: “It’s my life. Let me do as I please.”
Or my personal favorite: “If it’s a mistake, let me make it. I’ll learn from it.”
Hmm. Allow me to burst your bubble a little. 😄
Not every mistake is a good teacher. Some mistakes are expensive teachers. And sometimes, the scars they leave stay with you for life.
LEARN FROM OTHER PEOPLE’S STORIES
I’ve always believed that one reason people go through certain painful experiences is so that others don’t have to. Some lessons are better learned from other people’s lives than from your own.
Yes, experiences differ. Yes, circumstances are not always the same. But in some situations, the only difference is the level of pain. One person may recover faster because they had support. Another may carry the consequences for decades.
Take a teenager who decides to drop out of school to pursue illegal mining, or “galamsey” as we call it. The attraction is understandable. Fast money. Quick success. A shortcut to wealth. And yes, there are stories of people who made money from it. But there are also countless stories of young people who lost their lives, their freedom, their health, or their future pursuing the same path.
Why should teenagers ignore all those warning signs just to “learn from experience”? Wouldn’t it be wiser to learn from the experiences of others and make a more informed decision?
Here’s another example. A young person starts experimenting with drugs because their friends are doing it. Again, we’ve seen this movie before. Many times. There are celebrities, public figures, and everyday people whose lives were completely altered by addiction. Some recovered. Many never did.
The evidence is already there. Why insist on touching fire to confirm that it’s hot?
NOT ALL MISTAKES ARE EQUAL
Now, don’t get me wrong. Some mistakes are recoverable. You choose the wrong school, you switch schools. You chose the wrong job, you resign and move on. You rent a house and later realize it’s not the best location, you relocate.
Painful? Yes. Catastrophic? Not usually. As we often say: “This too shall pass.”
But there are other decisions that carry much heavier consequences. Decisions like:
- Having unprotected sex and dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.
- Marrying the wrong person because you ignored every red flag.
- Taking on responsibilities you clearly cannot sustain.
- Making financial commitments that may take decades to recover from.
And before somebody comes for me... 😂 the example is just an example. I’m not attacking anybody.
The point is simple: some decisions don’t just affect you. They affect everyone connected to you. Your family. Your children. Your finances. Your peace of mind. Sometimes even your health.
QUESTIONS WORTH ASKING BEFORE THE DECISION
That is why before making a major decision, it’s important to pause and ask:
- How significant is this choice?
- What is the worst possible outcome?
- If this goes wrong, who else will be affected?
- Is the potential consequence temporary or long-term?
These are uncomfortable questions, but they can save you from unnecessary heartache.
WISDOM ISN’T ONLY LEARNED FIRSTHAND
One thing life has taught me is that wisdom is not just learning from your own mistakes. Wisdom is also learning from the mistakes of others.
There is no special award waiting for people who insist on making every mistake themselves. 😄
Some roads have enough warning signs. You don’t need to drive off the cliff to confirm the danger.
CARRY GOD ALONG
My advice? Don’t make major life decisions by yourself. Carry God along. He is far more interested in your future than you realize. His guidance can save you years of regret. His wisdom can help you avoid traps that may look attractive today but devastating tomorrow.
So before you make that decision, ask yourself: am I moving because it is wise? Or am I moving because I am determined to learn the hard way?
Because the truth is... some mistakes are expensive teachers. And some tuition fees are simply too high.
Experience may be the best teacher. But it is not the only teacher. Sometimes wisdom is paying attention to the lessons life has already taught someone else.
Why graduate with scars when you could have learned from a story?
💭 Not every lesson requires personal experience. Some require humility.
Has someone else’s story ever saved you from making the same mistake? Tell me in the comments. 👇
Thank you so much for this. I strongly believe that learning from others experiences whether good or bad is WISDOM.
I think some people just dont pay attention to details when listening to other peoples stories. Sometimes you should listen to 'what the person did not say' in addition to what the person said.
"Wisdom is the Principal thing. Get wisdom and in all thy getting, get understanding". Thats what the scripture says.
So what we need to navigate life is wisdom and understanding, not experience.
In addition to the word of God, you can get wisdom from hearing other peoples experiences so you dont have to experience same before getting wisdom.
There is something deeply profound about Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 1:3–4:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
For me, the latter part of this scripture carries a powerful lesson: sometimes we go through certain experiences not only for ourselves, but so that the wisdom gained from them can help someone else.
Yet, interestingly, people do not always want to learn from the experiences of others.
You may share a mistake you made, the consequences you faced, and the lessons you learned—not to judge or control someone, but simply to help them recognize the danger and take precautions. Still, some people would rather make the exact same mistake and experience the consequences for themselves before accepting the lesson. 😳
It reminds me of a saying we often heard growing up:
“3nk) h), )se 3h) na mafiri ba.” 😂
In other words, “Don’t go there.” But somehow the response was essentially, “I have to go there so I can experience it for myself.”
And, of course, it often ended in some form of punishment! 😂
The funny thing is that before we were warned, someone already knew why we should not go there. Perhaps the place was unsafe, the company was questionable, or someone had already experienced the consequences and was trying to spare us from learning the same lesson the hard way.
There is certainly value in personal experience, but wisdom does not require us to personally experience every mistake before we learn from it.
Sometimes another person’s testimony is the warning.
Sometimes their scar is the lesson.
Sometimes their experience is the precaution we need.
And perhaps that is part of what Paul was teaching: what God brings us through can become a source of comfort, wisdom, encouragement, and guidance for someone else.
We should therefore learn not only from our own experiences, but also from the experiences of those who have walked certain roads before us.
You do not have to touch every fire to believe that fire burns.
Sometimes wisdom simply says, “Someone has already been there. Listen, learn, and choose differently.”
My 2 cents. ✌️