There are seasons in life when everything feels overwhelming. Nothing makes sense. Everything seems to be happening at the same time.
Family issues. Friendship drama. Career pressures. Business challenges. Marital struggles.
It feels like you’re barely keeping your head above water and you’re losing your breath.
Then there are the opposite seasons. The marriage happened at the right time. Your husband’s relatives actually like you. 😄 The promotion came sooner than expected. Your business is thriving. You and your friends are giving everybody “friendship goals.” Life feels like a beautiful movie.
Yet somehow, there’s still an uncomfortable feeling deep inside. A lingering sense that something could go wrong at any moment.
THE PROBLEM WITH EVERYONE’S OPINION
To make matters worse, everyone seems to have an opinion about you.
One person says you’re strong. Another says you’re difficult. One says you’re confident. Another says you’re proud. One calls you kind. Another says you’re too soft.
At some point, you begin to wonder: “How many personalities do I actually have?” 😄
My dear, if you follow every opinion people have about you, you will run mad oo.
I have news for you. Sometimes it seems like we’re allowing life to happen to us without intentionality. And that is why I believe that the most important conversations you will ever have are not with your friends. Not with your mentor. Not even with your pastor.
The most important conversations happen within.
HAVE A MEETING WITH YOURSELF
Sit yourself down. Have a meeting with yourself. Ask questions. Lots of questions. Especially when life is not making sense.
Before you rush to seek advice, have that conversation first.
Ask yourself:
- How did I get here?
- Where was I before I got here?
- Did I play a role in creating this situation?
- What could I have done differently?
- If I didn’t create this problem, who or what did I allow into my life that contributed to it?
- Was it an action? Was it an inaction? Was it a pattern I ignored?
I know it may sound like I’m yarning and yarning, but trust me, this conversation is important. Because once you have it, prayer becomes different. You approach God with clarity. You can honestly say:
“Lord, I did the best I could and life still happened.”
Or:
“Lord, I messed up. I need mercy.”
You are no longer operating from confusion. And nobody has had the opportunity to fill your head with opinions before you’ve processed the situation yourself. That alone can save you from a lot of heartache.
IT MATTERS WHEN THINGS ARE GOING WELL TOO
What many people don’t realize is that these internal conversations are just as important when life is going well. In fact, they may be even more important.
When everything is working, sit down and ask yourself: “What contributed to this?”
If you discover that certain habits, disciplines, or decisions brought positive results, write them down. Document them. You can repeat them. Patterns produce patterns.
And if you realize that the success you’re enjoying cannot be explained merely by your effort, then you know how to pray. You go to God with gratitude. You acknowledge His grace. Because as Scripture reminds us, it is not by strength alone that anyone succeeds.
LEARNING WHO YOU REALLY ARE
Another beautiful thing about these conversations is that they help you learn who you really are. Not who society says you are. Not who social media says you are. Not who your family says you are.
You.
You begin to identify your behavioral patterns, strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, triggers, and pet peeves. You understand yourself better than anyone else does.
And honestly? That’s one of the most liberating ways to live.
I don’t necessarily believe in living life entirely on your own terms. But I do believe that before every important conversation with the world, there should first be a conversation within.
Because when you know yourself:
- People’s opinions don’t easily confuse you.
- Life’s challenges don’t easily overwhelm you.
- Success doesn’t easily get into your head.
- Failure doesn’t easily destroy you.
You become grounded. Intentional. Self-aware.
And from that place, every other conversation becomes better.
Before you seek answers from the world, spend some time asking yourself the right questions. The conversations you have within may not solve every problem, but they often reveal where the real problem begins.
And sometimes, the wisdom you’re looking for starts with simply sitting quietly and being honest with yourself. ❤️
What’s one question you need to sit down and ask yourself today? Tell me in the comments. 👇