THE THINGS I HAD TO UNLEARN TO MOVE FORWARD (PART 1)

*How old beliefs quietly kept me stagnant.*

One thing I have come to realize in my few years on this journey called life is that the road to our destination is rarely as straightforward as we imagine.

We all pick up beliefs, opinions, and lessons along the way. Some come from our upbringing, some from personal experiences, some from church, and others from people we admire.

The problem is that not every lesson we learn is meant to stay with us forever. Sometimes the things that once helped us become the very things that keep us stuck.

There was a season in my life when I felt stagnant. And I don’t mean in just one area. I mean almost everywhere. My career, business ideas, my walk with God, my relationships, my personal growth. Everything felt stuck.

At the end of one particular year, I sat down to reflect and realized I had simply passed through the year. No major progress. No significant impact. No meaningful growth. Just vibes and survival.

Trust me, it is a terrible place to be. The frustration that comes with that kind of stagnation can make people lose hope. Some give up on their dreams. Others settle. And some begin to believe that maybe life simply has nothing more to offer them.

Thankfully, God’s grace did not leave me there. And through a lot of reflection, prayer, and honest conversations with myself, I realized that there were things I needed to unlearn before I could move forward.

In this article, I’ll share three of them.

1. COMFORT ZONES ARE YOUR FINAL DESTINATION

When I was 18 years old, I attended a marriage seminar.

Yes, I know. You’re probably wondering: “What exactly was an 18-year-old doing at a marriage seminar?” 😄 That’s a story for another day.

The guest speaker said something that stayed with me for years. He said that when choosing a life partner, we should wait until we have the peace of God in our hearts before making such an important decision.

Excellent advice. Powerful advice. Godly advice.

The problem was not what he said. The problem was what I did with it.

I took that advice and applied it everywhere. Not just in relationships. In my career. In business. In opportunities. In almost every major decision. If something felt uncomfortable, I avoided it. If there was uncertainty, I retreated. If there was risk, I convinced myself it wasn’t God’s will because I didn’t “feel peace.”

Then eventually, reality introduced itself. 😄

I realized something. When it comes to career growth, business, and purpose, comfort can become a dangerous place. Not because comfort is evil. But because comfort rarely challenges you. It rarely stretches you. And it certainly doesn’t force growth.

No successful entrepreneur, executive, or industry leader got there by remaining permanently comfortable. Success often requires:

- Learning new skills

- Taking risks

- Investing money

- Sacrificing time

- Losing some sleep

In some seasons, peace comes after the step of faith, not before. If you want growth, sometimes you must leave the safety net.

The comfort zone is a wonderful place. But very little grows there.

2. WHEN YOU PRAY, EVERYTHING WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE ALRIGHT

Ah. This one is delicate. 😄

Before somebody screenshots this section and reports me to my Pastor, please read to the end.

I love prayer. Anybody who knows me knows that. In fact, if I had my way, my relationship with God would be even deeper than it currently is.

But one thing I had to unlearn was this mindset: “Just pray, and everything will magically sort itself out.”

This belief has frustrated many Christians. They have prayed and prayed and prayed. Yet they still don’t see results. And because of that, they become discouraged. Some even begin to question prayer itself.

What I have learned is that prayer is often the beginning of the process, not the end. Prayer is conversation with God, and conversation goes both ways. Many of us go to God with our list of problems, then immediately leave. We never stay long enough to receive strategy.

One thing I’ve noticed in Scripture is this: whenever God answered people, He often gave them a plan, a strategy, an instruction, something to do.

Take King Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20. A vast army was coming against him. Naturally, he prayed, and what did God do? He gave him a strategy. Now, let’s be honest. If God gave that strategy to most of us today, we would ask for a second opinion. 😄 Imagine being told: “Put singers in front of the army and start praising.” But that instruction became part of their victory.

Another example is Jesus turning water into wine. Mary presented the problem. Jesus responded with an instruction:

> “Fill the jars with water.”

A plan. A strategy. An action.

So now, when I pray, I don’t just present requests. I also wait. For direction. For wisdom. For strategy. For insight.

Don’t just pray and sleep. Pray and plan. Pray and listen. Pray and move when God gives instruction.

3. WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE DOING WELL, IT MEANS YOU HAVE FAILED

Oh, this one has caused serious damage. Both in people’s lives and in friendships.

Let’s imagine four friends who graduate from university together. They all complete national service. Three of them join large multinational companies. One gets a job at Atwima Kwawuma Rural Bank. 😄

Immediately, the fourth friend starts feeling like a failure.

Why? Because comparison has entered the chat.

But who said the others are automatically doing better? Because they’re earning more money? Because their offices have air conditioning? Because they work in Accra while you’re somewhere else?

One lesson I had to unlearn is this: someone else’s progress is not proof of your failure.

Read that again, and again, and again.

Different people are running different races. On different timelines. Toward different destinations. Some people are earning more. Others have more peace. Some are progressing quickly. Others are building slowly but sustainably.

The mistake is using somebody else’s journey as the measuring tape for your own life.

Comparison steals joy. Comparison creates unnecessary pressure. And comparison often makes us blind to the blessings in our own lives.

I am incredibly grateful that I unlearned this. Because the moment I did, I became much happier. And my relationships improved too. Funny how that works. 😄

TO BE CONTINUED...

At this point, I think I have talked too much. But then again, my readers already know that talking too much is one of my spiritual gifts. 😄

So instead of squeezing everything into one article, I’ve decided to continue in Part 2. I originally planned to share five things. I’ve covered three here. But because I am feeling generous, I will add a couple more lessons in Part 2. Please clap for me. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Growth is not always about learning something new. Sometimes it is about letting go of beliefs, habits, and mindsets that no longer serve us. Sometimes the next level of your life is waiting on the other side of something you need to unlearn.

And trust me... that journey is worth it.

Watch out for Part 2. 😊

Which of these three have you had to unlearn? Tell me in the comments. 👇